By Marshall Goldsmith
I was asked what advice I have for a leader whose bosses say needs to exhibit more self-confidence while still being collaborative and authentic. This is a great question.
I rarely encounter this issue in my work with CEOs and potential CEOs because people at the top of huge organizations don’t often have self-confidence problems. But I have had several inquiries lately about helping future leaders who need to demonstrate more self-confidence.
Here are a few suggestions that I give leaders who have self-confidence issues:
1. Decide if you really want to be a leader. Many of the MBAs who report self-confidence issues are brilliant technicians. They often find the uncertainty and ambiguity of leading people very unsettling. They are looking for the “right answers” – similar to the ones in engineering school. In some cases, brilliant technical experts should continue to be brilliant technical experts – and not feel obligated to become managers.
2. Make peace with ambiguity in decision making. There are usually no clear right answers when making complex business decisions. Even CEOs are guessing.
3. Gather a reasonable amount of data, involve people, then follow your gut and do what you think is right.
4. Accept the fact that you are going to fail on occasion. All humans do.
5. Have fun! Life is short. Why should you expect your direct reports to demonstrate positive enthusiasm, if they don’t see it in you?
6. Once you make a decision, commit and go for it. Don’t continually second guess yourself. If you have to change course, you have to change course. If you never commit, all you will ever do is change course.
7. And finally, demonstrate courage on the outside, even when you don’t feel it on the inside. We are all afraid on occasion -- that is just part of being human. If you are going to lead people in tough times, you will need to show more courage than fear. When direct reports read worry and concern on the face of a leader, they begin to lose confidence in the leader’s ability to lead.
Originally published in Harvard Business Online, 2008.
Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders achieve positive, measurable change in behavior: for themselves, their people and their teams. His latest book, What Got You Here Won't Get You There, won the Harold Longman Award for best business book of 2007. Marshall invites you to visit his library (MarshallGoldsmithLibrary.com) for articles and resources you can use.
Showing posts with label management. Show all posts
Showing posts with label management. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
What's Most Important in a Flat, Diverse World?
By Patricia Wheeler
Being the only American in the room is a very cool experience. I had the pleasure of spending a few days coaching a group of senior leaders from a large global company. A cohort of their multinational workforce came together to sharpen their strategic focus and accelerate profits. As part of their experience, they received behavioral feedback through a 360 assessment.
These several dozen leaders were from all parts of the world (with the exception of the U.S.). And they were the picture of diversity….imagine an Italian vice president working in the Far East, married to a Japanese woman working for an Eastern European consulate. There was an Australian general manager working in South America. Add to the mix a Lebanese president of a Dubai-based division, as well as a German executive leading in Singapore. And many more, often working outside their home culture.
For several days they explored global strategy, their personal 360s and learning from leaders within their industry. And they came to an interesting conclusion. It may sound overly simplistic, but here it is: It’s all about the people. People are the critical business success factor, whether their challenges involve driving innovation, aligning operations or increasing sales. And this is especially true in an ambiguous, swirling environment, where security and predictability are low, and the need for flexibility and speed is especially critical.
I’ve heard push-back about this idea. Some leaders say things like, “But, Patricia, we’re in the widget business. My business is not about people….it’s about making widgets faster, cheaper, better!”
Well, let’s look closely at the widget business. Who makes the widgets? Who packages and delivers them to market? Who sells them? Who hires the sales force? Who trains them? Who crafts the marketing message? Who creates corporate strategy? Who decides on innovations? Who answers the company phone? At the end of the day, what business success does not rest on the ideas and efforts of its people?
When faced with the reality that every business is the People Business, I hear leaders express thoughts like these, which were expressed in this session:
“I’ve focused so much on the facts, I haven’t developed my people as much as I need to.”
“I’m so sure of my own viewpoint, I forget to ask others for their opinion.”
“I’m so focused on coming up with answers that are 100% correct that I don’t pay enough attention to innovation.”
If attention to the people in your business is crucial to your success, consider the following questions that we ask our clients:
How much time do you spend developing your people and their capabilities? Do you treat people as important as processes? How often do you meet face to face and talk with them about their successes, goals and aspirations? The best workers, especially within the emerging generations, demand development. Ignore this step and you’ll likely lose them.
To what degree to you actively seek the perspective of others, particularly those at levels below yours? If your answer is “not much,” you're not tapping into grass-roots knowledge that could be crucial to your competitive advantage as well as a great opportunity to motivate your people.
How much do your people feel that you value them? How are you measuring this? Remember this: just thinking about something doesn’t count. They need for you to demonstrate your interest, in words and action. And if you’re not regularly and rigorously assessing employee engagement, you are vulnerable to your talent walking out the door.
How are you preparing your workforce to take on various roles across your enterprise? Leading companies “cross-train” their leaders to take on assignments out of their comfort zone, and rotate leaders regularly. The days of spending your days in one function or department appear to be limited, and this is a good thing, as these rotations serve to break down silos and increase long-term performance.
And know this…even in a challenging financial climate, when many companies are cutting their budgets, there are still organizations allocating time, money and attention to developing their current and future leaders. It’s inspiring to me, because we need good leaders even more in an economic downturn. And if you’re not continuing to develop leaders during a downturn, your most promising leaders may jump ship and go to those companies that continue affirming and investing in their value.
Copyright 2008, Leading News
Patricia Wheeler is an executive and team coach who helps smart people become better leaders. As Managing Partner in the Levin Group LLC, she has spent 15 years consulting to organizations and coaching senior leaders and their teams. You may contact Patricia by E-mail at Patricia@TheLevinGroup.com or by telephone at 404 377-9408.
Being the only American in the room is a very cool experience. I had the pleasure of spending a few days coaching a group of senior leaders from a large global company. A cohort of their multinational workforce came together to sharpen their strategic focus and accelerate profits. As part of their experience, they received behavioral feedback through a 360 assessment.
These several dozen leaders were from all parts of the world (with the exception of the U.S.). And they were the picture of diversity….imagine an Italian vice president working in the Far East, married to a Japanese woman working for an Eastern European consulate. There was an Australian general manager working in South America. Add to the mix a Lebanese president of a Dubai-based division, as well as a German executive leading in Singapore. And many more, often working outside their home culture.
For several days they explored global strategy, their personal 360s and learning from leaders within their industry. And they came to an interesting conclusion. It may sound overly simplistic, but here it is: It’s all about the people. People are the critical business success factor, whether their challenges involve driving innovation, aligning operations or increasing sales. And this is especially true in an ambiguous, swirling environment, where security and predictability are low, and the need for flexibility and speed is especially critical.
I’ve heard push-back about this idea. Some leaders say things like, “But, Patricia, we’re in the widget business. My business is not about people….it’s about making widgets faster, cheaper, better!”
Well, let’s look closely at the widget business. Who makes the widgets? Who packages and delivers them to market? Who sells them? Who hires the sales force? Who trains them? Who crafts the marketing message? Who creates corporate strategy? Who decides on innovations? Who answers the company phone? At the end of the day, what business success does not rest on the ideas and efforts of its people?
When faced with the reality that every business is the People Business, I hear leaders express thoughts like these, which were expressed in this session:
“I’ve focused so much on the facts, I haven’t developed my people as much as I need to.”
“I’m so sure of my own viewpoint, I forget to ask others for their opinion.”
“I’m so focused on coming up with answers that are 100% correct that I don’t pay enough attention to innovation.”
If attention to the people in your business is crucial to your success, consider the following questions that we ask our clients:
How much time do you spend developing your people and their capabilities? Do you treat people as important as processes? How often do you meet face to face and talk with them about their successes, goals and aspirations? The best workers, especially within the emerging generations, demand development. Ignore this step and you’ll likely lose them.
To what degree to you actively seek the perspective of others, particularly those at levels below yours? If your answer is “not much,” you're not tapping into grass-roots knowledge that could be crucial to your competitive advantage as well as a great opportunity to motivate your people.
How much do your people feel that you value them? How are you measuring this? Remember this: just thinking about something doesn’t count. They need for you to demonstrate your interest, in words and action. And if you’re not regularly and rigorously assessing employee engagement, you are vulnerable to your talent walking out the door.
How are you preparing your workforce to take on various roles across your enterprise? Leading companies “cross-train” their leaders to take on assignments out of their comfort zone, and rotate leaders regularly. The days of spending your days in one function or department appear to be limited, and this is a good thing, as these rotations serve to break down silos and increase long-term performance.
And know this…even in a challenging financial climate, when many companies are cutting their budgets, there are still organizations allocating time, money and attention to developing their current and future leaders. It’s inspiring to me, because we need good leaders even more in an economic downturn. And if you’re not continuing to develop leaders during a downturn, your most promising leaders may jump ship and go to those companies that continue affirming and investing in their value.
Copyright 2008, Leading News
Patricia Wheeler is an executive and team coach who helps smart people become better leaders. As Managing Partner in the Levin Group LLC, she has spent 15 years consulting to organizations and coaching senior leaders and their teams. You may contact Patricia by E-mail at Patricia@TheLevinGroup.com or by telephone at 404 377-9408.
Monday, December 3, 2007
MediaTrust : Thought for the Day
A GOOD FOOTBALL TEAM RELIES MORE ON HARMONIOUS COORDINATION OF EFFORT THAN INDIVIDUAL SKILL.
Teamwork is a "cooperative effort by the members of a team to achieve a common goal." The key words in the definition are cooperative effort. Without the support of the entire group, no team can long endure. Football players quickly learn that no member of the team can be a star in every play. Most moments of glory are built upon a long series of plays, each won by committed, determined, bone-jarring blocking and tackling. A winning team is one whose members recognize that when one member of the team is successful, the entire team wins. Conversely, a sure way to develop a losing formula is to create an environment in which team members compete with one another instead of the opponent. When all members give their best in every situation-whether they are carrying the ball or clearing the way for someone else-the team wins and so does each individual member of it.
This positive message is brought to you by the Napoleon Hill Foundation. Visit us at http://www.naphill.org. We encourage you to forward this to friends and family. They can sign up for this free service at our web site.
I want to thank Mario P. for sending this thought which supports our MediaTrust culture & philosophy of "all for one and one for all" we are stronger as a collective team.
Peter B.
Teamwork is a "cooperative effort by the members of a team to achieve a common goal." The key words in the definition are cooperative effort. Without the support of the entire group, no team can long endure. Football players quickly learn that no member of the team can be a star in every play. Most moments of glory are built upon a long series of plays, each won by committed, determined, bone-jarring blocking and tackling. A winning team is one whose members recognize that when one member of the team is successful, the entire team wins. Conversely, a sure way to develop a losing formula is to create an environment in which team members compete with one another instead of the opponent. When all members give their best in every situation-whether they are carrying the ball or clearing the way for someone else-the team wins and so does each individual member of it.
This positive message is brought to you by the Napoleon Hill Foundation. Visit us at http://www.naphill.org. We encourage you to forward this to friends and family. They can sign up for this free service at our web site.
I want to thank Mario P. for sending this thought which supports our MediaTrust culture & philosophy of "all for one and one for all" we are stronger as a collective team.
Peter B.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
MANAGEMENT : Transparency as Strategy
By Patricia Wheeler
Is transparency just a well-meaning, rather soft idea, or does it have strategic value?
The dictionary defines transparency as “able to be seen through with clarity.” In the organizational world it means “free of deceit,” which translates into being “readable.” You don’t finish a conversation with a transparent leader wondering what they really meant, and what the implications are for you. You are clear about the underlying intent as well as the content of the message.
How does transparency differ from authenticity? Authentic leaders have a good match between intention and behavior…“say” and “do” are in sync. But you can be authentic without being transparent. Transparency refers to the deliberate behavior that is directed toward being readable.
Why is it so important? Because done well, transparency builds trust. And it eliminates the time-wasting behavior of trying to figure out what someone really thinks and wants.
I once coached a wonderful, authentic vice president who received feedback on her 360 that she intimidated her direct reports. She was shocked by this, because she thought she was communicating encouragement (she was clearly thinking encouraging thoughts), but her thoughts and intention were not transparent to her people. Part of her coaching agenda was to tell them that she wanted to get better at acknowledging them…and making sure that she checked back in with them to ensure that she was doing so. Team morale, and performance, improved.
Let’s be clear…transparency is no excuse for rude, hurtful or unprofessional behavior. And there sometimes can be too much of a good thing. People don’t need to know the details of your divorce or childhood traumas. The key is to make sure that you use god common sense and transmit information that adds value to the workplace.
Why is transparent leadership especially important now?
Our world is growing more complex by the day. We are barraged with information and we must intersect with an increasing number of stakeholders in different locations and cultures. More often than not, leaders operate through influence rather than direct control. Driving collaboration, internal accountability, and self-direction requires a different skill set than in traditional command and control settings.
A culture of transparency breeds a more agile and engaging organization. Companies who don’t promote and model this sort of culture are missing a huge strategic advantage. And what is this advantage? In two words, employee engagement.
Of the 25 top levers of engagement that the Corporate Research Council identified, several directly relate to leader transparency. These include managers demonstrating honesty, clearly articulating organizational goals, accepting responsibility for failures as well as successes, and clearly caring about employee well-being. And why should we care about engagement? Simply put, highly engaged employees have been shown to be 20% more productive. And people want to work for managers they can read and trust.
So, If people trust you, they will listen better to you.
More trust leads to less organizational “static.”
As static and resistance decrease, speed and precision are enhanced.
Well-executed transparency can set the stage for innovation and cross-silo collaboration.
If transparency is so effective, why don’t more people practice it?
Many leaders believe that showing any vulnerability will make them look weak and ineffective, resulting in a loss of respect. In our coaching engagements, we use the “FeedForward” process, which is a great example of modeling transparency. We ask leaders tell their stakeholders what they’re trying to get better at and enlist their help in this effort. In my experience coaching many leaders, I have never seen an instance where revealing how you’re trying to get better led to less respect. In fact, the usual result is increased trust.
Transparent communication is particularly important during times of great stress and change. We’re always looking for anchors of trust and we want to make sense of the world, especially during times of disruptive change. If you are not readable, people will “make it up”…which usually results in their imagining that things are worse than they are. So an important part of modeling transparency is to tell people what it is you don’t know, as well as what you do know. This may require some courage.
From a coach’s perspective, here are some suggestions to enhance transparency:
- Know yourself. Get feedback on whether you tend to share too much or too little information? Find out how readable you are to others.
- Clarify your values. You are working with other humans, and we are all driven by our core values and emotions. So let people know what is really important to you.
- Take regular reflection breaks…make sure you are consciously and continuously making good choices about how and what you do and don’t share…and why.
- Be aware of cultural differences in what constitutes a good level and pace of transparency. Cultural differences vary by geography and within organizations.
- Build your muscle: practice transparent communication with your coach or confidantes to develop and hone your skills.
Practicing transparent leadership can help you get even more honest with yourself (and others) about what engages you and what turns you off, what you stand for and why it’s important to you. Being clear about your values and drivers can put you “in the driver’s seat” for having an even more successful (and by the way, happier) career…and life.
Copyright 2007, Leading News
Patricia Wheeler is an executive coach and consultant who helps smart people become better leaders. As Managing Partner in the Levin Group LLC, she has spent 15 years consulting to organizations and coaching senior leaders and their teams. You may contact Patricia by E-mail at Patricia@TheLevinGroup.com or by telephone at 404 377-9408.
Is transparency just a well-meaning, rather soft idea, or does it have strategic value?
The dictionary defines transparency as “able to be seen through with clarity.” In the organizational world it means “free of deceit,” which translates into being “readable.” You don’t finish a conversation with a transparent leader wondering what they really meant, and what the implications are for you. You are clear about the underlying intent as well as the content of the message.
How does transparency differ from authenticity? Authentic leaders have a good match between intention and behavior…“say” and “do” are in sync. But you can be authentic without being transparent. Transparency refers to the deliberate behavior that is directed toward being readable.
Why is it so important? Because done well, transparency builds trust. And it eliminates the time-wasting behavior of trying to figure out what someone really thinks and wants.
I once coached a wonderful, authentic vice president who received feedback on her 360 that she intimidated her direct reports. She was shocked by this, because she thought she was communicating encouragement (she was clearly thinking encouraging thoughts), but her thoughts and intention were not transparent to her people. Part of her coaching agenda was to tell them that she wanted to get better at acknowledging them…and making sure that she checked back in with them to ensure that she was doing so. Team morale, and performance, improved.
Let’s be clear…transparency is no excuse for rude, hurtful or unprofessional behavior. And there sometimes can be too much of a good thing. People don’t need to know the details of your divorce or childhood traumas. The key is to make sure that you use god common sense and transmit information that adds value to the workplace.
Why is transparent leadership especially important now?
Our world is growing more complex by the day. We are barraged with information and we must intersect with an increasing number of stakeholders in different locations and cultures. More often than not, leaders operate through influence rather than direct control. Driving collaboration, internal accountability, and self-direction requires a different skill set than in traditional command and control settings.
A culture of transparency breeds a more agile and engaging organization. Companies who don’t promote and model this sort of culture are missing a huge strategic advantage. And what is this advantage? In two words, employee engagement.
Of the 25 top levers of engagement that the Corporate Research Council identified, several directly relate to leader transparency. These include managers demonstrating honesty, clearly articulating organizational goals, accepting responsibility for failures as well as successes, and clearly caring about employee well-being. And why should we care about engagement? Simply put, highly engaged employees have been shown to be 20% more productive. And people want to work for managers they can read and trust.
So, If people trust you, they will listen better to you.
More trust leads to less organizational “static.”
As static and resistance decrease, speed and precision are enhanced.
Well-executed transparency can set the stage for innovation and cross-silo collaboration.
If transparency is so effective, why don’t more people practice it?
Many leaders believe that showing any vulnerability will make them look weak and ineffective, resulting in a loss of respect. In our coaching engagements, we use the “FeedForward” process, which is a great example of modeling transparency. We ask leaders tell their stakeholders what they’re trying to get better at and enlist their help in this effort. In my experience coaching many leaders, I have never seen an instance where revealing how you’re trying to get better led to less respect. In fact, the usual result is increased trust.
Transparent communication is particularly important during times of great stress and change. We’re always looking for anchors of trust and we want to make sense of the world, especially during times of disruptive change. If you are not readable, people will “make it up”…which usually results in their imagining that things are worse than they are. So an important part of modeling transparency is to tell people what it is you don’t know, as well as what you do know. This may require some courage.
From a coach’s perspective, here are some suggestions to enhance transparency:
- Know yourself. Get feedback on whether you tend to share too much or too little information? Find out how readable you are to others.
- Clarify your values. You are working with other humans, and we are all driven by our core values and emotions. So let people know what is really important to you.
- Take regular reflection breaks…make sure you are consciously and continuously making good choices about how and what you do and don’t share…and why.
- Be aware of cultural differences in what constitutes a good level and pace of transparency. Cultural differences vary by geography and within organizations.
- Build your muscle: practice transparent communication with your coach or confidantes to develop and hone your skills.
Practicing transparent leadership can help you get even more honest with yourself (and others) about what engages you and what turns you off, what you stand for and why it’s important to you. Being clear about your values and drivers can put you “in the driver’s seat” for having an even more successful (and by the way, happier) career…and life.
Copyright 2007, Leading News
Patricia Wheeler is an executive coach and consultant who helps smart people become better leaders. As Managing Partner in the Levin Group LLC, she has spent 15 years consulting to organizations and coaching senior leaders and their teams. You may contact Patricia by E-mail at Patricia@TheLevinGroup.com or by telephone at 404 377-9408.
MANAGEMENT : The Power of Expressing Regret
By Marshall Goldsmith
Expressing regret, or apologizing, is a cleansing ritual, like confession in church. You say, “I’m sorry”—and you feel better. That’s the theory at least. But like many things that are fine in theory, it’s hard for many of us to do.
Perhaps we think apologizing means we have lost a contest…and successful people have a practically irrational need to win at everything.
Perhaps we find it painful to admit we were wrong. We rarely have to apologize for being right!
Perhaps we find it humiliating to seek forgiveness, which suggests subservience.
Perhaps we feel that apologizing forces us to cede power or control. (Actually, the opposite is true.)
Whatever the reasons, refusing to apologize causes as much ill will in the workplace…and at home…as any other interpersonal flaw. Just think how bitter you have felt when a friend failed to apologize for hurting you or letting you down. And remember how long that bitterness festered.
If you look back at the tattered relationships in your life, I suspect many of them began to fray at the seams at the moment when one of you couldn’t summon the emotional intelligence to say, “I’m sorry.”
People who can’t apologize at work may as well be wearing a t-shirt that says, “I don’t care about you.” The irony is that all the fears that lead us to resist apologizing—the fear of losing, admitting we’re wrong, ceding control—are actually erased by an apology. When you say, “I’m sorry,” you turn people into your allies, even your partners.
You see this principle at work in the first step I help every successful person take in order to become more successful. I teach them to apologize—face to face—to every coworker who has agreed to help them get better.
Apologizing is one of te most powerful and resonant gestures in the human arsenal—almost as powerful as a declaration of love. It’s “I love you,” flipped on its head. If love means, “I care about you and I’m happy about it,” then an apology means, “I hurt you and I’m sorry about it.” Either way, it irrevocably changes the relationship between two people, compelling them to move forward into something new and, perhaps, wonderful together.
The best thing about apologizing is that it forces everyone to let go of the past. In effect, you are saying, “I can’t change the past. All I can say is I’m sorry for what I did wrong. I’m sorry it hurt you. There’s no excuse for it and I will try to do better in the future. I would like your ideas on how I can improve.”
This kind of statement is hard for even the most cold-hearted among us to resist. And when you use it on coworkers, it can dramatically change how they feel about you and themselves.
My client Beth was the highest-ranking woman at a Fortune 100 company. Although her bosses and direct reports loved her, she was loathed by some of her peers. She had a particularly toxic relationship with a hard-boiled executive named Harvey. Beth was a smart young hotshot brought in by the CEO to make changes. Harvey saw her as arrogant and disrespectful of the company’s history and traditions. Their turf wars brought out the worst side of her personality: a mean, vindictive streak. We agreed that this was the behavior she would change.
Beth bristled at first to the thought that she must apologize to Harvey. The idea was so distasteful to her that I scripted her apology to circumvent any hesitations that might destroy its effect. To Beth’s credit, she followed the script.
She said, “Harvey, I appreciate the positive feedback I’ve received. There are also some things at which I want to be better. I’ve been disrespectful to you, the company, and the traditions in the company. Please accept my apology. There is no excuse for this behavior and…”
Harvey cut her off before she finished, responding, “Beth, it’s not just you, it’s me too. I have not been a gentleman in the way I’ve treated you. I know this is hard for you to say to me, and these are not just your problems. This is my problem too. We can get better together.”
That’s the magic in this process. When you declare your dependence on others, they usually agree to help. And during the course of helping you be a better person, they inevitably try to become better people themselves. This is how individuals change, how teams improve, how divisions grow, and how companies become industry leaders.
Excerpted from What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, 2007
Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders achieve positive, measurable change in behavior: for themselves, their people and their teams. He has been named one of the top 50 leaders influencing the field of management over the last century (American Management Association), one of the five most respected executive coaches (Forbes) and among the top ten executive educators (Wall Street Journal). Marshall invites you to visit his library (MarshallGoldsmithLibrary.com) for articles and resources you can use.
Expressing regret, or apologizing, is a cleansing ritual, like confession in church. You say, “I’m sorry”—and you feel better. That’s the theory at least. But like many things that are fine in theory, it’s hard for many of us to do.
Perhaps we think apologizing means we have lost a contest…and successful people have a practically irrational need to win at everything.
Perhaps we find it painful to admit we were wrong. We rarely have to apologize for being right!
Perhaps we find it humiliating to seek forgiveness, which suggests subservience.
Perhaps we feel that apologizing forces us to cede power or control. (Actually, the opposite is true.)
Whatever the reasons, refusing to apologize causes as much ill will in the workplace…and at home…as any other interpersonal flaw. Just think how bitter you have felt when a friend failed to apologize for hurting you or letting you down. And remember how long that bitterness festered.
If you look back at the tattered relationships in your life, I suspect many of them began to fray at the seams at the moment when one of you couldn’t summon the emotional intelligence to say, “I’m sorry.”
People who can’t apologize at work may as well be wearing a t-shirt that says, “I don’t care about you.” The irony is that all the fears that lead us to resist apologizing—the fear of losing, admitting we’re wrong, ceding control—are actually erased by an apology. When you say, “I’m sorry,” you turn people into your allies, even your partners.
You see this principle at work in the first step I help every successful person take in order to become more successful. I teach them to apologize—face to face—to every coworker who has agreed to help them get better.
Apologizing is one of te most powerful and resonant gestures in the human arsenal—almost as powerful as a declaration of love. It’s “I love you,” flipped on its head. If love means, “I care about you and I’m happy about it,” then an apology means, “I hurt you and I’m sorry about it.” Either way, it irrevocably changes the relationship between two people, compelling them to move forward into something new and, perhaps, wonderful together.
The best thing about apologizing is that it forces everyone to let go of the past. In effect, you are saying, “I can’t change the past. All I can say is I’m sorry for what I did wrong. I’m sorry it hurt you. There’s no excuse for it and I will try to do better in the future. I would like your ideas on how I can improve.”
This kind of statement is hard for even the most cold-hearted among us to resist. And when you use it on coworkers, it can dramatically change how they feel about you and themselves.
My client Beth was the highest-ranking woman at a Fortune 100 company. Although her bosses and direct reports loved her, she was loathed by some of her peers. She had a particularly toxic relationship with a hard-boiled executive named Harvey. Beth was a smart young hotshot brought in by the CEO to make changes. Harvey saw her as arrogant and disrespectful of the company’s history and traditions. Their turf wars brought out the worst side of her personality: a mean, vindictive streak. We agreed that this was the behavior she would change.
Beth bristled at first to the thought that she must apologize to Harvey. The idea was so distasteful to her that I scripted her apology to circumvent any hesitations that might destroy its effect. To Beth’s credit, she followed the script.
She said, “Harvey, I appreciate the positive feedback I’ve received. There are also some things at which I want to be better. I’ve been disrespectful to you, the company, and the traditions in the company. Please accept my apology. There is no excuse for this behavior and…”
Harvey cut her off before she finished, responding, “Beth, it’s not just you, it’s me too. I have not been a gentleman in the way I’ve treated you. I know this is hard for you to say to me, and these are not just your problems. This is my problem too. We can get better together.”
That’s the magic in this process. When you declare your dependence on others, they usually agree to help. And during the course of helping you be a better person, they inevitably try to become better people themselves. This is how individuals change, how teams improve, how divisions grow, and how companies become industry leaders.
Excerpted from What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, 2007
Marshall Goldsmith is a world authority in helping successful leaders achieve positive, measurable change in behavior: for themselves, their people and their teams. He has been named one of the top 50 leaders influencing the field of management over the last century (American Management Association), one of the five most respected executive coaches (Forbes) and among the top ten executive educators (Wall Street Journal). Marshall invites you to visit his library (MarshallGoldsmithLibrary.com) for articles and resources you can use.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Managment Leadership
Powerful Transparency
By Patricia Wheeler
About a year ago we were asked to help a promising executive who was struggling in his new role. Jason had been heavily recruited for his technical expertise, his track record of innovation, and his willingness to be a “change agent” in an otherwise careful and conservative organization.
The problem was that he was experienced as too aggressive, overly ambitious, and as someone who did not understand the culture of the company. He received critical feedback from peers and direct reports in his 360 feedback process and his boss was alarmed by hearing 3rd party criticism about Jason’s style. Jason had been hired to be a change agent in a world of scientists. And yet he was seen as ambitious, pushy, abrasive and unsuccessful in driving change.
Jason was confused and resentful. A strong introvert, he responded by communicating less and pushing harder. Yet when we had an opportunity to interview Jason, we experienced a passionate and caring man who was driven by his dedication to finding a cure for a disease that had claimed the life of his father. He made this decision at the age of fifteen, which had influenced all subsequent career decisions.
As you read this account, think about what happens when others’ perceptions of us do not match our real intentions. What happens when we feel deeply misunderstood – when our deep passion is not recognized or appreciated?
Do you make a choice to move on – to leave your current situation and look for a place where you can feel more appreciated? Or do you put your head down and try even harder to push through it? Or is there a middle ground….a way to bridge the gap between intention and behavior?
Jason clearly needed to realize when his push for change outpaced the tolerance of his company’s culture. He needed to have a greater line of sight into the impact his behavior had on others. And he needed to acknowledge the difficult position of change agents who are tasked with taking actions that push the existing culture into discomfort. But in this case behavior change alone was unlikely to create lasting trust and drive the needed changes within his team.
Jason’s focus on increasing his transparency to others was an important part of his coaching plan. His peers needed to understand his deeper intentions and his passion which led to his drive for results. They needed to know that his ambition was not about increasing personal recognition or climbing the corporate ladder, but about something deeper and more meaningful.
And Jason needed to understand that to succeed meant that he had to work through others – both peers and direct reports. The key for him involved increasing his transparency leading to increased trust in the eyes of his team.
We structured a meeting agenda in which Jason asked his peers to describe what was really important to them – why they were engaged in this line of work. And he went first. He told them about his father and the decisions that have driven his life. He told them how difficult it was for him in the company. And he asked for their help. As his team began to understand his real intention, they rallied around him and began to understand each other’s goals and the real priorities of the team. They made agreements on how to support one another going forward, how to give ongoing feedback and feedforward on a regular basis, and how to deal with conflict when it arose. They began to work as a team rather than a collection of brilliant individuals and drove this alignment to the next level inside the organization.
The continued success of this team, and of Jason, was driven by increased transparency – the ability of those around him to read his intent and see behind his surface behaviors. And this allowed Jason to show more of his humanity and to translate his drive into team success and a win for his organization.
Copyright 2007, Leading News
Patricia Wheeler is an executive coach and consultant who helps smart people become better leaders. As Managing Partner in the Levin Group LLC, she has spent 15 years consulting to organizations and coaching senior leaders and their teams. You may contact Patricia by E-mail at Patricia@TheLevinGroup.com or by telephone at 404 377-9408.
By Patricia Wheeler
About a year ago we were asked to help a promising executive who was struggling in his new role. Jason had been heavily recruited for his technical expertise, his track record of innovation, and his willingness to be a “change agent” in an otherwise careful and conservative organization.
The problem was that he was experienced as too aggressive, overly ambitious, and as someone who did not understand the culture of the company. He received critical feedback from peers and direct reports in his 360 feedback process and his boss was alarmed by hearing 3rd party criticism about Jason’s style. Jason had been hired to be a change agent in a world of scientists. And yet he was seen as ambitious, pushy, abrasive and unsuccessful in driving change.
Jason was confused and resentful. A strong introvert, he responded by communicating less and pushing harder. Yet when we had an opportunity to interview Jason, we experienced a passionate and caring man who was driven by his dedication to finding a cure for a disease that had claimed the life of his father. He made this decision at the age of fifteen, which had influenced all subsequent career decisions.
As you read this account, think about what happens when others’ perceptions of us do not match our real intentions. What happens when we feel deeply misunderstood – when our deep passion is not recognized or appreciated?
Do you make a choice to move on – to leave your current situation and look for a place where you can feel more appreciated? Or do you put your head down and try even harder to push through it? Or is there a middle ground….a way to bridge the gap between intention and behavior?
Jason clearly needed to realize when his push for change outpaced the tolerance of his company’s culture. He needed to have a greater line of sight into the impact his behavior had on others. And he needed to acknowledge the difficult position of change agents who are tasked with taking actions that push the existing culture into discomfort. But in this case behavior change alone was unlikely to create lasting trust and drive the needed changes within his team.
Jason’s focus on increasing his transparency to others was an important part of his coaching plan. His peers needed to understand his deeper intentions and his passion which led to his drive for results. They needed to know that his ambition was not about increasing personal recognition or climbing the corporate ladder, but about something deeper and more meaningful.
And Jason needed to understand that to succeed meant that he had to work through others – both peers and direct reports. The key for him involved increasing his transparency leading to increased trust in the eyes of his team.
We structured a meeting agenda in which Jason asked his peers to describe what was really important to them – why they were engaged in this line of work. And he went first. He told them about his father and the decisions that have driven his life. He told them how difficult it was for him in the company. And he asked for their help. As his team began to understand his real intention, they rallied around him and began to understand each other’s goals and the real priorities of the team. They made agreements on how to support one another going forward, how to give ongoing feedback and feedforward on a regular basis, and how to deal with conflict when it arose. They began to work as a team rather than a collection of brilliant individuals and drove this alignment to the next level inside the organization.
The continued success of this team, and of Jason, was driven by increased transparency – the ability of those around him to read his intent and see behind his surface behaviors. And this allowed Jason to show more of his humanity and to translate his drive into team success and a win for his organization.
Copyright 2007, Leading News
Patricia Wheeler is an executive coach and consultant who helps smart people become better leaders. As Managing Partner in the Levin Group LLC, she has spent 15 years consulting to organizations and coaching senior leaders and their teams. You may contact Patricia by E-mail at Patricia@TheLevinGroup.com or by telephone at 404 377-9408.
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